121 E 30th St, New York, NY 10016 |

Parenting Rule: Honesty – Say What You Mean. Mean What You Say!


If you say it, you have to be willing to do it. You are the architect of your child’s future. If you do not follow through, you are weakening the foundation of your relationship with your child. Your child will learn very quickly that your words have no merit, no honesty, and that they are just empty threats. More importantly, this leads to mistrust and unwanted behaviors.

Empty threats are the same as lying. If you tell your child, “If you throw the truck at the wall again, I will take it away” and your child throws the truck at the wall again and you do not take it away, your child will interpret this as ” My caregiver doesn’t mean what they say, they lied to me, and I can’t trust their words are true.” This is very damaging to a child and will increase anxiety and desire for control.

The best thing you can do for your child, in order to build trust and security, is to be honest with them. Your child needs you to be their anchor. It is natural to want to “protect” your child from scary things, but it is not always in their best interest.

Consider the following scenario: Your child has a routine doctor’s appointment and shots are going to be administered. You may want to tell them you are going out for ice cream or to the park in order to protect them from being scared about going to the doctor. You may be afraid it will make it difficult to get them to the doctor if they know here they are going and, furthermore, if they know they are getting a shot.

When your child asks, “Where are we going?”, you may be tempted to say “to the park.” And you may have every intention to take them to the park AFTER they go to the doctor for their shot. Your happy go lucky child is ready for the park. But … WAIT! What’s this? The doctor? For a shot?

This is not a good plan. Take a look at the following dialogue that can help foster trusting secure children.

Child: “Where are we going?”
Caregiver: “We have to go to the doctor today.”

Child: “Will I need a shot?”
Caregiver: “Yes. Today you will get a shot because shots keep us healthy!”

Child: “Will it hurt?”
Caregiver: “It will hurt just a little.”

Child: “I don’t like shots! I don’t want a shot!”
Caregiver: ” I know you don’t like shots but you are so brave and strong and I will be right there with you. And when it’s all done, we will go to the park (or for ice cream) as a reward for being brave.”

The point is that your child may not always like what you have to say, or what has to be done, but the fact that they have you at their side as their anchor to help them through it, and to tell them the hard truths, is all the better.

Be impeccable to your word, big or small. This holds true for positive reinforcement as well. If you tell your child they will earn a lollipop for being a great listener while at the park, then make sure you have a lollipop to give when your child is successful.

It is important to remember when speaking to your little ones, that some things are just simply not a choice. But it is great to give them the power to choose with the small decisions. Big decisions should be left to the big people! After all, we all know that “honesty is the best policy.”

Your turn. Do you say what you mean and mean what you say. Is honesty an integral part of your interaction with your child? Share your thoughts in the comments below.

Related Posts

72 Responses
  1. When I originally commented I clicked the “Notify me when new comments are added” checkbox and now
    each time a comment is added I get three e-mails with the same
    comment. Is there any way you can remove people from that service?

  2. Simply wanna comment on few general things, The website pattern is perfect, the written content is rattling excellent. “To establish oneself in the world, one has to do all one can to appear established.” by Francois de La Rochefoucauld.

  3. I’m really enjoying the design and layout of your
    site. It’s a very easy on the eyes which makes it much more enjoyable for me to come here and visit more often. Did you hire out a developer to create
    your theme? Great work!

  4. I’m amazed, I have to admit. Seldom do I encounter a
    blog that’s equally educative and interesting, and without a doubt, you have hit
    the nail on the head. The problem is an issue that not
    enough men and women are speaking intelligently about. I am very happy I came across this in my hunt
    for something concerning this.

  5. Hello! Quick question that’s totally off topic.

    Do you know how to make your site mobile friendly?
    My web site looks weird when viewing from my apple iphone. I’m trying to find a template or plugin that might be able to fix
    this issue. If you have any suggestions,
    please share. Thank you!

  6. I’ve been surfing on-line more than 3 hours today,
    yet I by no means discovered any attention-grabbing article like yours.
    It is lovely worth enough for me. In my view, if all website
    owners and bloggers made just right content material as you probably did, the web will probably be much more useful than ever before.

  7. Hey! I know this is kinda off topic but I was wondering if you knew where I
    could locate a captcha plugin for my comment form?

    I’m using the same blog platform as yours and I’m having difficulty finding one?
    Thanks a lot!

  8. Hi, I do believe this is a great blog. I stumbledupon it
    😉 I’m going to come back once again since I saved as a favorite it.
    Money and freedom is the best way to change, may you be rich and continue to guide other

  9. Does your site have a contact page? I’m having trouble locating it but, I’d like to shoot you an e-mail.
    I’ve got some suggestions for your blog you might be interested in hearing.
    Either way, great blog and I look forward to
    seeing it develop over time.

  10. Hello just wanted to give you a quick heads up. The words in your article seem
    to be running off the screen in Firefox. I’m not sure if this is a formatting
    issue or something to do with web browser compatibility but I figured I’d post to let you know.
    The style and design look great though! Hope you get the problem fixed soon. Many thanks

  11. I’ve been surfing online more than 2 hours
    today, yet I never found any interesting article like yours.
    It is pretty worth enough for me. In my view, if all site owners and bloggers made
    good content as you did, the internet will be much more useful than ever before.

  12. Hello! I could have sworn I’ve visited this blog
    before but after looking at a few of the posts I realized it’s new to me.
    Nonetheless, I’m definitely delighted I came across it and I’ll be book-marking it
    and checking back often!

  13. Sweet blog! I found it while surfing around on Yahoo News.

    Do you have any tips on how to get listed in Yahoo News?
    I’ve been trying for a while but I never seem to get there!


  14. I used to be recommended this website through my cousin. I
    am no longer positive whether or not this post is written through him as no one else recognise such specified approximately my difficulty.
    You are wonderful! Thank you!

  15. hello!,I like your writing so much! proportion we keep in touch extra about your
    post on AOL? I require a specialist on this space to resolve my problem.
    Maybe that’s you! Looking forward to peer you.

  16. Spot on with this write-up, I seriously feel this website needs far more attention. I’ll probably be back again to see more, thanks for the information!

  17. It’s really a nice and useful piece of info. I’m happy that you just shared this helpful information with
    us. Please keep us up to date like this. Thanks for sharing.

  18. Hi this is kinda of off topic but I was wondering if blogs use
    WYSIWYG editors or if you have to manually code with HTML.

    I’m starting a blog soon but have no coding expertise so I wanted to get advice from someone with
    experience. Any help would be enormously appreciated!

  19. naturally like your web site however you need to check the spelling on several of your posts.
    Several of them are rife with spelling issues and I to find it very
    troublesome to inform the reality however I will certainly
    come again again.

  20. Write more, thats all I have to say. Literally, it seems as though you relied on the
    video to make your point. You definitely know what youre
    talking about, why throw away your intelligence on just
    posting videos to your site when you could be giving us something informative to read?

  21. Hello there! This blog post couldn’t be written any
    better! Going through this post reminds me of my previous roommate!

    He continually kept talking about this. I am going to forward this article to him.
    Fairly certain he’s going to have a good read. I appreciate you for sharing!

  22. Heya! I just wanted to ask if you ever have any problems with hackers?
    My last blog (wordpress) was hacked and I ended up losing months of hard work due to no data backup.

    Do you have any solutions to prevent hackers?

  23. Have you ever thought about adding a little
    bit more than just your articles? I mean, what you say is important and everything.
    However think about if you added some great pictures or video clips to give
    your posts more, “pop”! Your content is excellent but with
    images and clips, this website could certainly be one of the very best
    in its field. Good blog!

  24. I do not know whether it’s just me or if perhaps everyone else encountering issues with your site.
    It appears as if some of the written text within your
    content are running off the screen. Can somebody else please provide feedback
    and let me know if this is happening to them too?
    This could be a issue with my web browser because I’ve
    had this happen before. Thanks

  25. Just wish to say your article is as astonishing.

    The clarity to your submit is simply cool and i could
    assume you’re a professional on this subject.
    Fine along with your permission let me to grab your feed to
    stay updated with coming near near post. Thank you 1,000,000 and please keep up the rewarding work.

  26. I blog frequently and I genuinely thank you for your information. This article has truly peaked my interest.
    I’m going to book mark your blog and keep checking for new information about once per week.
    I subscribed to your RSS feed too.

  27. I was suggested this web site by my cousin. I’m not sure whether this post is written by him as nobody else know such
    detailed about my trouble. You are amazing! Thanks!

  28. Hey there! Quick question that’s entirely off topic. Do you know how to make your site mobile friendly?
    My blog looks weird when viewing from my iphone4. I’m trying to find a theme or plugin that might be able to fix this problem.

    If you have any recommendations, please share. Thank you!

  29. Increase Likes, Autolike, ZFN Liker, Auto Like, Autoliker, Working Auto Liker, auto liker, Photo Liker, Autolike International, autolike, Autoliker, Auto Liker, auto like, Status Liker, Status Auto Liker, Photo Auto Liker, autoliker

  30. Individuals regulations also labored towards grow to be a Excellent path towards realize that other individuals on line consist of the similar fervor such as mine in direction of learn exceptional package deal much more in excess of this problem.

Leave a Reply